Let’s cut to the chase: Humans are simple creatures. We’ve been wired the same way since we hunted mammoths and argued over who invented fire. These six tricks, ripped straight from Dale Carnegie’s 1936 bible How to Win Friends and Influence People, still work today because psychology doesn’t care about trends. Ready to hack human nature? Let’s go.
1. Ask More, Talk Less (Be a Talk Show Host, Not a Monologuer)
The Science: Talking about themselves triggers a dopamine rush in people’s brains—it’s literally addictive. Your job? Be the dealer.
Try This:
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Swap “Let me tell you about my job” with “What’s the wildest thing that’s happened at your job?”
Why It Works:
A Harvard study found people perceive active listeners as 33% more likable. Nod, lean in, and let them chase the dopamine high.
Pro Tip: Use the “Echo Technique.” Repeat their last few words as a question.
Them: “I’m training for a marathon.”
You: “A marathon?!”
Boom. Instant rapport.
2. Say Their Name Like Beyoncé Says “Beyoncé”
The Science: Hearing their name activates the brain’s medial prefrontal cortex—the same region that lights up when we feel valued.
Try This:
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Drop their name twice in conversation.
“That’s a great point, Sarah. Sarah, have you tried…?”
Why It Works:
It’s the verbal equivalent of a personalized latte. Feels bespoke, not basic.
Pro Tip: Remember names with the “Snap Association.” Meet a Dave who loves coffee? Think “Davespresso.” Your brain will thank you later.
3. Ditch the “You’re Wrong” Energy (Nobody Wins a Trench Warfare Debate)
The Science: Correcting someone triggers their amygdala—the brain’s panic button. Suddenly, you’re the enemy, not a friend.
Try This:
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Replace “Actually, that’s incorrect” with “I’ve heard that too! I also read…”
Why It Works:
You’re not attacking—you’re “adding.” Think of it as diffusing a bomb with a compliment.
Pro Tip: Nod while they speak, even if you disagree. Your body language softens their defensiveness.
4. Give Compliments Like a Heat-Seeking Missile (Aim for the Hidden Target)
The Science: Generic flattery feels like spam. Specific praise? That’s a dopamine sniper shot.
Try This:
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Compliment a choice, not a trait.
“Your presentation slides were so clean—how’d you design them?”
Why It Works:
It shows you’re paying attention to their effort, not just their existence.
Pro Tip: Compliment someone’s taste. “You always find the best restaurants” is catnip for egos.
5. Make It About Them (Because Nobody Cares About Your Dog’s Instagram)
The Science: The brain’s default mode is “What’s in it for me?” Frame your ask as their win.
Try This:
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Swap “Can you help me?” with “You’re the best at this—could I steal 5 minutes of your genius?”
Why It Works:
Stanford research shows people are 42% more likely to help when you stroke their expertise.
Pro Tip: Use “You” instead of “I.”
“You’d crush this project” beats “I need this done.”
6. Admit You’re Wrong Like a Trust Fall (Embrace the Cringe)
The Science: Owning mistakes activates oxytocin in the other person—the “trust hormone.”
Try This:
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Say “You were right, I was being stubborn. Thanks for calling that out.”
Why It Works:
Vulnerability is kryptonite for resentment. It’s like handing them a trophy made of humility.
Pro Tip: Add a slight self-deprecating joke.
“I’m wrong so often, I should get a loyalty card.”
Why These 1936 Tricks Still Work in 2025 (And Always Will)
Human brains haven’t upgraded since we discovered fire. We still crave validation, hate criticism, and melt at our own names. These tricks aren’t manipulation—they’re emotional physics.
Your Homework:
Pick one trick. Use it for 24 hours. Watch how cashiers, coworkers, and even your mother-in-law warm up to you.
Too cynical to try? Perfect. Your skepticism is just your ego’s way of saying, “Fine, I’ll play along.”
P.S. Share this with a friend who’s as charming as a wet sock. They’ll either become a social butterfly or send you a rant about ethics. Either way, you win.